Love Has No Point – Valentines Day Contest

Susanna Leonard Hill is having a Valentines Day Contest. The rules of the contest is to make a children’s story (it can be poetry or not) , 200 words or less and it has to be an “unlikely” Valentine. You can see all the entries on her blog here. I hope you like my entry!

Love Has No Point

By Erik

Bill P. Porcupine had a  love. Not just any love, mind you, it was the greatest love of all, but it was also a secret love.

“Oh, how I love her!” Bill sighed to himself.

Every day when Bill walked home from school he stopped by the gift shop where she worked. He tried to impress her by making his quills stand on end so he would look bigger, but she never noticed him. He’d then go home and cry.

“Boo hoo,” Bill sobbed.

“What’s the matter Bill?” asked his Mom.

“I’m in love mom, but she doesn’t know I exist,” said Bill.

“There, there,  it’ll be OK,” his mom said gently.

“She is so beautifully round. Her skin is smooth and rosy. When she moves, she floats like her feet never touch the ground,” Bill whimpered.

“I think you should just tell her,” Bill’s mom suggested.

The next day, Bill marched to the gift shop with one thing on his mind. He shoved the shop door open, walked straight up to her, threw his arms open to hug her and said, “I love…”

POP!

She was gone, except for the bits of pink rubber stuck to Bill.



Categories: Other Stuff Related to Books and Reading

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86 replies

  1. Erik! This is delightful! 🙂 Love it!

  2. How very clever, Erik! Love it!

  3. Oh my goodness Erik, that was perfect and aren’t you the master of fun surprise endings. Well done!

  4. Erik – I had the same exact idea – a porcupine in love with a balloon – but I never sat down to write it! I’m glad I didn’t because yours is so much more clever – I love how you hid the balloon’s identity until the end! I was going to have my porcupine set the balloon free – an “if you love her, set her free” kind of thing 🙂 Well done!!

  5. Erik~Enjoyed your entry! It is very clever and very well-written. I love how Bill describes his rosy, red, greatest love of all. Good luck.

  6. Totally awesome, Erik! You made me laugh out loud at the ending!!! Very creative and well done!

  7. You are a gifted story teller, Erik. I totally didn’t see the end coming! Superbly written. Well done!

  8. Aw! Poor little Bill P. Procupine! Very cute story!

  9. Poor Bill!! It’s a terrible thing when love blows up in your face. Excellent entry!

  10. ERIK! I am so impressed! This is absolutely fabulous, and the surprise ending really WAS a surprise (at first I thought she might be a clock). I love everything about this: the dialogue, the structure, the characterization, the subtle HUMOR (you’re funny!), the suspense. You’re a natural! Congrats, and thanks for brightening up my day. 🙂

  11. I love it, Erik! Fabulous ending. Reminds me of the way O. Henry finished his short stories with a surprise, ironic ending that you were weren’t expecting.

  12. You had me wondering about his love right up until the end! A very clever story with a super ending!

  13. Ha! That was fun! Love the rubbery wrap-up!

  14. Erik, that was wonderful! Total surprise ending — and it made me laugh out loud with delight.

  15. That’s what I call an explosive love affair.

  16. Hee! Hee! Hee! Love it! 🙂 🙂

  17. Erik, I’m impressed with your entry. Liked your twist at the end. You got me! Very clever and fun entry. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  18. I love how the porcupine was in love with a balloon.

  19. Loved the story Erik, especially the ending! Funny. Also reminds me of my son and how he fell in love with a balloon last week. Finally, it popped when he sat on it. He looked everywhere for his missing balloon.

  20. I love it ! Happy Valentines day : )

  21. You are a masterful story teller. I loved the allusions to her identity, the sneaky way you held the reader at bay, and your clever title. Fantastic job!

    • Thank you! I really like doing funny stories! For the title I have to give my mom and dad credit. When I was trying to come up with the right one, they suggested something with “point” or “spike” in it (because of the porcupine) and that helped me come up with it! I am glad you liked it!!

  22. Ha Ha Ha! this made me laugh right out loud! It’s great! Susanna is going to have a hard time picking the winner as I read better and better stories each time. I think this will be a winner though. You did great, Erik.

  23. I liked it.

  24. GREAT JOB ERIK!!! You completely surprised me! Love it! So impressed! 🙂

  25. Erik — Very creative story! You grabbed me from the start because I think porcupines are awesome! Your ending was fabulous! Great work!

  26. Your entry is great Erik! I love the title too. Maybe your porcupine could make friends with my teddy bear.

  27. You are ending my evening with a smile, Eric! What a great story…the ending was truly a surprise to me…TERRIFIC! And so funny…kind of bitter-sweet, I guess. Poor porcupine…he will have to chose more wisely next time. 🙂

  28. Well, clearly I’m not the first to say it, but the ending was a wonderful surprise! Great job, Erik!

  29. Oh I love your sweet story! It is so unique and a very unlikely Valentine story. Hopefully, his next love is a better match. Best wishes for the contest! Have you written other stories? 🙂

  30. Wow! What a surprise ending, Erik! I loved it. Great job!

  31. Lol! That was a great story!

  32. oh my gosh! that is so cute x100,000! loved it! too bad i read it so late or else i would have re-blogged it 🙂

  33. I just stopped by from Sandra’s blog, but I saw this story last week on Susanna’s blog. It’s great! I can’t believe it was written by a ten-year-old. (I’m sorry, I’m sure you hate hearing that.) Very well done!

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