My Entry in the “In Just Spring” Writing Contest!

16 Mar

Susanna Leonard Hill is having a Spring writing contest! The rules are to write a kid’s story in poetry or prose with a maximum of 350 words. The entry has to be about spring and the other requirement is that -” the last line must be “[Character Name] knew Spring was really here!” or “[Character Name] knew Spring was here at last!” Click HERE to go to Ms. Hill’s blog to see the all the great entries in the contest.

I hope you like my entry! HAPPY SPRING!!! 😀

Spring Schming

By Erik

Donald thought it was way too early to be spring. He did not like spring at all. He did think the birds, squirrels and flowers were kind of nice, but he just couldn’t stand the brighter sun light and longer days. You see, Donald was very pale and he just couldn’t take being out in the hot sun. “I much prefer an overcast winter day,” Donald thought.

Donald shivered and called over to his next-door neighbor when he saw her head peeking over the fence, “Kelly? Kelly! What am I going to do? Spring is here, I’ll never survive!”

“Oh, Donald, stop being such a worry wart! Spring isn’t here for another month,” Kelly called back.

Donald looked down and thought to himself, “At least it’s not raining. I don’t know which is worse, sun or rain.”

“Look Donald! See the robin over by the maple tree? Isn’t she beautiful?” Kelly sounded excited.

Donald looked over to Kelly now just seeing the top of her head. “Kelly, are you shrinking?”

“Donald you can be so weird sometimes!” Kelly scolded him. Kelly started softly singing a song. It was something about red robins bobbin’ along and it kind of annoyed Donald. Every year he warns Kelly about the sun in springtime, but she never listens.

Donald looked up. The sun was almost directly above him. He felt the water drips rolling down from his head to his back. Then something suddenly shifted. “Oh gwate, my dose dust slid off my face,” Donald exclaimed.

“Your who did what?” Kelly cheerfully asked. Donald could only see the tippy top of her hat now.

“Dever mind!” Donald shouted.

Donald knew he was melting. He looked down and saw a tiny sprout reaching out for the water dripping from him. He sighed, kind of half smiled and thought, “The flowers are very pretty and they do need water… and there will be snow next year.”

Donald the Snowman knew Springtime was really here.

meltingsnowman2

KELLY
Credit to Venturist (Flickr) Creative Commons License

8521599933_3b008c8e8d

DONALD
Credit to leighannemcc (Flickr) Creative Commons License

86 Responses to “My Entry in the “In Just Spring” Writing Contest!”

  1. Beth Stilborn March 16, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

    What a great twist to a springtime story! Thanks, Erik!

    Like

  2. Patricia Tilton March 16, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    Great story Erik. Knew you’d try something different. It wasn’t util the nose slid off his face did I realize it was a snowman. You held the suspense that long.

    Like

  3. Michelle Isenhoff March 16, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

    🙂

    Like

  4. julie rowan zoch March 16, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    I didn’t see this coming! Poor Donald!

    Like

  5. ontheplumtree March 16, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

    OOOH! What a twist! Excellent.

    Like

  6. Susanna Leonard Hill March 16, 2013 at 3:25 pm #

    Fantastic, Erik! Huge points for cleverness and originality! I didn’t even figure it out until his nose slid off his face! Excellent job 🙂 Thanks for a great story 🙂

    Like

  7. patientdreamer March 16, 2013 at 3:46 pm #

    wow! That was an awesome story, Erik. Great twist, good use of dialogue, and original. Very clever.

    Like

  8. Heather Dent March 16, 2013 at 3:52 pm #

    Yes!!! The Snowman’s perspective. I love it! I was totally taken by surprise. Well done!

    Like

  9. viviankirkfield March 16, 2013 at 3:54 pm #

    Yes…we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again…YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!!! After the first couple of lines, I knew there was going to be a surprise…and I began trying to imagine who Donald would be. Until almost the end, I thought he was a mushroom who would wilt up and kind of disappear in the sunshine. LOVE the melting snowman.:)

    Like

  10. Julie Anne Grasso March 16, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Laugh Out Loud Erik, you had me intrigued all the way. Brilliant, you are sure to take out the prize. Best wishes

    Like

  11. Dad March 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

    Nice work Buddy

    Like

  12. KidLitReviews March 16, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

    I was trying to figure out why Donald could no longer see the top of Kelly’s head. Then his nose fell off. You write some crazy-good stories Erik. Why you do not win every contest is beyond me. Good luck with this one.

    Like

  13. Jill Proctor March 16, 2013 at 5:41 pm #

    You got me! You are sooo clever! It was an all-around great story. I like how you you think outside the box. You are definitely an inspiration. Good luck!

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 8:09 am #

      Thank you Ms. Proctor! Thank you also for visiting my blog! Please come back. 🙂

      Like

  14. Hannah Holt March 16, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    LOL! I was trying to figure out who wouldn’t like spring. Very creative and well done. Good job, Erik!

    Like

  15. Jennifer Young March 16, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

    Loved the twist! Excellent ending! Great job Erik.

    Like

  16. Genevieve Petrillo March 16, 2013 at 6:47 pm #

    This is not a surprise ending. It’s a SHOCKER! I absolutely love it. “Donald was very pale….” Brilliant, Erik!

    Like

  17. Pamela Courtney March 16, 2013 at 6:57 pm #

    Ohhhh, well done, you! What a clever ending. I didn’t guess what it was until the end. Totally love that you named your snowman, Donald. Tres chic!

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 8:15 am #

      Thank you for visiting my blog! I read in “Spilling Ink” to keep a phone book to get names for stories. So I got Donald and Kelly from the phone book. 🙂

      Like

  18. Stephanie@Fairday's Blog March 16, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    This was awesome! I loved the twist! 🙂 You are a talented writer! Best of luck in the contest!

    Like

  19. Joanna March 16, 2013 at 7:49 pm #

    This is just so clever. I didn’t guess until right at the end! Awesome!

    Like

  20. teresarobeson March 16, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

    That really was brilliant! I love surprise endings and funny surprise ending are even better. So, I didn’t see if anyone else asked, but did the photos inspire you to write your story or did you take those photos after you wrote it?

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 9:57 am #

      I just thought about what happens in spring and I saw all the snow melting outside and thought of it. I found the pictures on creative commons after I wrote the story. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  21. Susanna Leonard Hill March 16, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    Hey, Erik – Delores couldn’t leave a comment here, so she left a comment for you on my blog and I’m passing it along: “I couldn’t leave a comment on Eriks posting I thought his story of the melting snowmen was fabulous.” 🙂

    Like

  22. Darlene March 16, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

    That’s a good one my young writer friend!

    Like

  23. Gretchen Fogelstrom March 16, 2013 at 11:14 pm #

    I had no idea until the very end. I was imagining Kelly planting a garden or something. Or digging a tunnel under the fence. I couldn’t figure it out. Excellent twist. Love it.

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 9:59 am #

      That would be funny if she was tunneling under the fence! Thanks Ms. Fogelstrom! I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  24. K.L. Pickett March 16, 2013 at 11:24 pm #

    You kept me wondering all along the way . . . why was she shrinking? Why did his nose fall off. Great ending! Great story!

    Like

  25. laurimeyers March 16, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

    Great! Thanks for the lesson on suspense there. I was picturing the kid from that old movie “Powder” until his nose fell off!

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 10:03 am #

      Thanks Ms. Meyers! I haven’t seen Powder. I’ll have to ask my mom about it.

      Like

      • laurimeyers March 17, 2013 at 10:37 am #

        It was 1995, and it’s by Disney but it’s PG-13. Looks like someone has posted it on Youtube (though I’m not sure if that’s entirely legal…)

        Like

      • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm #

        I will ask my parents about it. I am allowed to watch some PG-13 movies. Thanks!

        Like

      • laurimeyers March 17, 2013 at 8:08 pm #

        I’m so lame, I know. But hey, I let my five year old watch the Lion King last night and she has been asking me all day if she is going to DIE! So, it doesn’t always hurt to be conservative….

        Like

  26. nrhatch March 17, 2013 at 9:49 am #

    What a FUN twist on the theme! 😀

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 17, 2013 at 10:07 am #

      Thank you! I’m glad you like my story! Thank you for stopping by! Please come again!!!

      Like

  27. Barbara Gruener March 17, 2013 at 10:39 am #

    The title drew me in …. who doesn’t love spring? Snowmen, of course! Awesome job.

    Like

  28. Wendy Greenley March 17, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    You had me worried! That’s how well you fooled me at first!
    A really fun story.

    Like

  29. Caroline March 17, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

    Great and cute Spring story! You do such great work!

    Like

  30. laura516 March 17, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    Very clever! I had to re-read to catch all the clues you dropped that Donald was a snowman. I missed them all! Great story 🙂

    Like

  31. Andrea March 17, 2013 at 3:41 pm #

    Great twist! I really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing it!

    Like

  32. Catherine Johnson March 17, 2013 at 7:12 pm #

    I’m so glad I didn’t see the pictures until the end, what a fun twist, a snowman! Well done!

    Like

  33. David Eveleigh March 18, 2013 at 12:47 am #

    Oh wow. That was really clever. Great twist ending. Your writing style is very professional. I can honestly say that if I’d read this without any knowledge of who you are, I would have thought that it had been written by an adult. Good job 🙂

    Like

    • thiskidreviewsbooks March 18, 2013 at 7:07 am #

      Thank you Mr. Eveleigh! That means a LOT to me! I’ve learned a lot about writing from all of these contests I’ve entered! 😀

      Like

  34. colonialist March 18, 2013 at 3:45 am #

    You really had me going, there! Weird kid, I thought for Donald and Kelly also seemed a bit strange. However, even when you let us snow by making him lose his snows, I was snow wiser!

    Like

  35. Donna L. Sadd March 18, 2013 at 8:09 am #

    Love, love, loved this Erik! Fantastic twist and killer title!

    Like

  36. Penny Klostermann March 18, 2013 at 10:15 am #

    Oh! My! Goodness! Soooooooooooooooooooo creative, Erik. I just loved your take on the spring theme! You are one talented kid!

    Like

  37. Denise Bruce of Ingleside March 19, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

    LOL This was awesome, Erik!! What a great twist lol! I must read it to Rilla and see if she can figure it out before the ending 😉

    Like

  38. maliaann March 19, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

    Awesome story, Erik! And what a great ending! I never guessed he was a snowman until his nose fell off. Ha! Love it. 🙂

    Like

  39. Jarm Del Boccio March 23, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

    Very clever, Erik…I didn’t guess Donald’s identity until the end. Good job!

    Like

  40. Meg March 24, 2013 at 9:12 am #

    Love it. Very nice twist with the snowman as the main character. 🙂

    Like

  41. Myra GB March 25, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

    Nicely done, Erik. Love the twists in your narrative. 🙂

    Like

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