My Entry in the “In Just Spring” Writing Contest!

Susanna Leonard Hill is having a Spring writing contest! The rules are to write a kid’s story in poetry or prose with a maximum of 350 words. The entry has to be about spring and the other requirement is that -” the last line must be “[Character Name] knew Spring was really here!” or “[Character Name] knew Spring was here at last!” Click HERE to go to Ms. Hill’s blog to see the all the great entries in the contest.

I hope you like my entry! HAPPY SPRING!!! 😀

Spring Schming

By Erik

Donald thought it was way too early to be spring. He did not like spring at all. He did think the birds, squirrels and flowers were kind of nice, but he just couldn’t stand the brighter sun light and longer days. You see, Donald was very pale and he just couldn’t take being out in the hot sun. “I much prefer an overcast winter day,” Donald thought.

Donald shivered and called over to his next-door neighbor when he saw her head peeking over the fence, “Kelly? Kelly! What am I going to do? Spring is here, I’ll never survive!”

“Oh, Donald, stop being such a worry wart! Spring isn’t here for another month,” Kelly called back.

Donald looked down and thought to himself, “At least it’s not raining. I don’t know which is worse, sun or rain.”

“Look Donald! See the robin over by the maple tree? Isn’t she beautiful?” Kelly sounded excited.

Donald looked over to Kelly now just seeing the top of her head. “Kelly, are you shrinking?”

“Donald you can be so weird sometimes!” Kelly scolded him. Kelly started softly singing a song. It was something about red robins bobbin’ along and it kind of annoyed Donald. Every year he warns Kelly about the sun in springtime, but she never listens.

Donald looked up. The sun was almost directly above him. He felt the water drips rolling down from his head to his back. Then something suddenly shifted. “Oh gwate, my dose dust slid off my face,” Donald exclaimed.

“Your who did what?” Kelly cheerfully asked. Donald could only see the tippy top of her hat now.

“Dever mind!” Donald shouted.

Donald knew he was melting. He looked down and saw a tiny sprout reaching out for the water dripping from him. He sighed, kind of half smiled and thought, “The flowers are very pretty and they do need water… and there will be snow next year.”

Donald the Snowman knew Springtime was really here.

meltingsnowman2

KELLY
Credit to Venturist (Flickr) Creative Commons License

8521599933_3b008c8e8d

DONALD
Credit to leighannemcc (Flickr) Creative Commons License



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86 replies

  1. What a great twist to a springtime story! Thanks, Erik!

  2. Great story Erik. Knew you’d try something different. It wasn’t util the nose slid off his face did I realize it was a snowman. You held the suspense that long.

  3. I didn’t see this coming! Poor Donald!

  4. OOOH! What a twist! Excellent.

  5. Fantastic, Erik! Huge points for cleverness and originality! I didn’t even figure it out until his nose slid off his face! Excellent job 🙂 Thanks for a great story 🙂

  6. wow! That was an awesome story, Erik. Great twist, good use of dialogue, and original. Very clever.

  7. Yes!!! The Snowman’s perspective. I love it! I was totally taken by surprise. Well done!

  8. Yes…we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again…YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!!! After the first couple of lines, I knew there was going to be a surprise…and I began trying to imagine who Donald would be. Until almost the end, I thought he was a mushroom who would wilt up and kind of disappear in the sunshine. LOVE the melting snowman.:)

  9. Laugh Out Loud Erik, you had me intrigued all the way. Brilliant, you are sure to take out the prize. Best wishes

  10. Nice work Buddy

  11. I was trying to figure out why Donald could no longer see the top of Kelly’s head. Then his nose fell off. You write some crazy-good stories Erik. Why you do not win every contest is beyond me. Good luck with this one.

  12. You got me! You are sooo clever! It was an all-around great story. I like how you you think outside the box. You are definitely an inspiration. Good luck!

  13. LOL! I was trying to figure out who wouldn’t like spring. Very creative and well done. Good job, Erik!

  14. Loved the twist! Excellent ending! Great job Erik.

  15. This is not a surprise ending. It’s a SHOCKER! I absolutely love it. “Donald was very pale….” Brilliant, Erik!

  16. Ohhhh, well done, you! What a clever ending. I didn’t guess what it was until the end. Totally love that you named your snowman, Donald. Tres chic!

  17. This was awesome! I loved the twist! 🙂 You are a talented writer! Best of luck in the contest!

  18. This is just so clever. I didn’t guess until right at the end! Awesome!

  19. That really was brilliant! I love surprise endings and funny surprise ending are even better. So, I didn’t see if anyone else asked, but did the photos inspire you to write your story or did you take those photos after you wrote it?

  20. Hey, Erik – Delores couldn’t leave a comment here, so she left a comment for you on my blog and I’m passing it along: “I couldn’t leave a comment on Eriks posting I thought his story of the melting snowmen was fabulous.” 🙂

  21. That’s a good one my young writer friend!

  22. I had no idea until the very end. I was imagining Kelly planting a garden or something. Or digging a tunnel under the fence. I couldn’t figure it out. Excellent twist. Love it.

  23. You kept me wondering all along the way . . . why was she shrinking? Why did his nose fall off. Great ending! Great story!

  24. Great! Thanks for the lesson on suspense there. I was picturing the kid from that old movie “Powder” until his nose fell off!

  25. What a FUN twist on the theme! 😀

  26. The title drew me in …. who doesn’t love spring? Snowmen, of course! Awesome job.

  27. You had me worried! That’s how well you fooled me at first!
    A really fun story.

  28. Great and cute Spring story! You do such great work!

  29. Very clever! I had to re-read to catch all the clues you dropped that Donald was a snowman. I missed them all! Great story 🙂

  30. Great twist! I really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing it!

  31. I’m so glad I didn’t see the pictures until the end, what a fun twist, a snowman! Well done!

  32. Oh wow. That was really clever. Great twist ending. Your writing style is very professional. I can honestly say that if I’d read this without any knowledge of who you are, I would have thought that it had been written by an adult. Good job 🙂

  33. You really had me going, there! Weird kid, I thought for Donald and Kelly also seemed a bit strange. However, even when you let us snow by making him lose his snows, I was snow wiser!

  34. Love, love, loved this Erik! Fantastic twist and killer title!

  35. Oh! My! Goodness! Soooooooooooooooooooo creative, Erik. I just loved your take on the spring theme! You are one talented kid!

  36. LOL This was awesome, Erik!! What a great twist lol! I must read it to Rilla and see if she can figure it out before the ending 😉

  37. Awesome story, Erik! And what a great ending! I never guessed he was a snowman until his nose fell off. Ha! Love it. 🙂

  38. Very clever, Erik…I didn’t guess Donald’s identity until the end. Good job!

  39. Love it. Very nice twist with the snowman as the main character. 🙂

  40. Nicely done, Erik. Love the twists in your narrative. 🙂

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