The Worst Book I’ve Ever Read

1 Apr

Dear  reader – you’ve come to know that I like to talk about books I really enjoy. In fact, if I don’t like a book, I privately tell the author that it wasn’t for me and give him/her my review but don’t publish it. I want my blog to be about celebrating really awesome books to read.

There now has come a time when I have read a book so awful that I feel that I need to warn others not to buy it.

So why didn’t I like this book?

First off there is NO plot. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. From the title I thought it was going to be a story about being lost in the wilderness – kind of a My Side of the Mountain book, but as I started reading I was totally confused.

On the first page we meet the main character – Ariens, he’s a lumberjack. The reader is told he is dangerous and could potentially cause death. So now I am figuring it’s not a My Side of the Mountain book but more of a Goosebumps eerie – creepy tale.

Well as I read on, I learn practically nothing new about Ariens other than he needs to be stabilized -okay I get it, he’s a crazy dangerous lumberjack. Through the rest of the story, he really doesn’t do ANYTHING. I don’t even think he ever leaves his garage.

I suppose it should get points for being multilingual; it comes in French and Spanish.

I seriously had to choke down the rest of the book.

So as a service to you, kind reader; I warn you:

DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!

APRIL FOOLS!

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Image result for april fools

42 Responses to “The Worst Book I’ve Ever Read”

  1. Angela Brown April 1, 2017 at 10:05 am #

    Now that was a good laugh 🙂

    Like

  2. rnewman504 April 1, 2017 at 10:08 am #

    Ha!

    Like

  3. Lisa M. Bolt Simons April 1, 2017 at 10:15 am #

    You’re so clever! Thanks for the laugh!

    Like

  4. Pat Brisson April 1, 2017 at 10:28 am #

    Good one, Erick!

    Like

  5. annabellefranklinauthor April 1, 2017 at 10:49 am #

    Genius! 😀

    Like

  6. Darlene April 1, 2017 at 10:50 am #

    That was very funny!! You get the prize for the best April Fools joke this year!!!

    Like

  7. Patricia Tilton April 1, 2017 at 12:12 pm #

    At first I was identifying with you, then it hit me, it’s April Fools day. You almost got me.

    Like

  8. roughwighting April 1, 2017 at 12:42 pm #

    I LOVE your sense of humor. At first I was shocked; your book reviews are so right-on, but I never expected you to diss a book, only not put it on your list of books to recommend. I must admit, I was relieved when I got to the end…and the joke. 🙂 You got me good.

    Like

    • ThisKidReviewsBooks April 14, 2017 at 2:02 pm #

      Haha! Thank you! I have found that because (and I’m not bragging, just being realistic) I am a generally intelligent person, playing a doofus creates a bit of humor. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • roughwighting April 15, 2017 at 12:51 pm #

        Hey, a lot of women have played that game. :-0

        Like

      • ThisKidReviewsBooks April 17, 2017 at 6:57 am #

        Wait. So…that means that all of you girls are actually geniuses then?! Oh no.

        😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • ThisKidReviewsBooks April 17, 2017 at 6:58 am #

        Hey! Guys! We’ve been under attack these past millenia, and didn’t even realize it!

        Liked by 1 person

      • ThisKidReviewsBooks May 1, 2017 at 11:10 am #

        I just want to apologize, because I was going through my comments, and came across the ones where I replied to you. In retrospect, I realized that the last two ended up sounding sexist and petty while the intent was to just joke around. I’m sorry if I ended up putting you off and/or offending you with those comments.
        Erik

        Liked by 1 person

      • roughwighting May 1, 2017 at 11:49 am #

        No! We were both kidding with each other. It was all in fun. Thank you, Erik.

        Like

      • ThisKidReviewsBooks May 13, 2017 at 12:27 pm #

        Thank you! 🙂

        Like

  9. Joanne R. Fritz April 1, 2017 at 1:00 pm #

    Brilliant, Erik. You almost had me. Happy April Fool’s Day.

    Like

  10. Brenda April 1, 2017 at 4:00 pm #

    Happy April Fool’s Day to you.

    Like

  11. Lynn April 1, 2017 at 4:58 pm #

    oh my gosh, Erik! I am reading this late in the day when April Fool’s Day joking is gone by, so … You got me! I am so mad at you! haha Smarty.

    Like

  12. Debbie Dadey April 1, 2017 at 7:06 pm #

    Ha! You got me!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  13. Heather Stinnett April 1, 2017 at 9:09 pm #

    Hahaha! This was brilliant! You really had me going, Erik! 😀

    Like

  14. Jemima Pett April 2, 2017 at 5:09 am #

    Brilliant! And the cover was just far enough down the page you couldn’t see it till you’d already been taken in. Perfect 🙂

    Like

  15. Thomas Edmund April 2, 2017 at 11:33 pm #

    I really think you owe Ariens an apology for not emailing them your review first and allowing them to learn from their experience to write a better book!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sue Morris @ KidLitReviews April 4, 2017 at 12:34 am #

    You got me. The cover was too far down to catch on soon enough to . . . well, to dish the blog!–nah, could never do that. Nice joke. You got me. Much better than my accidentally telling a publisher their book would be reviewed in 2018, in an email marked April 1, 2017 (actually did this, by accident).

    Liked by 1 person

  17. nocturnalsworld April 4, 2017 at 11:37 am #

    Just seeing this now, and didn’t realize the date of the post…you totally got me!

    Like

  18. Jilanne Hoffmann April 7, 2017 at 8:49 pm #

    You, young man, are hilarious! You got me, hook, line, and sinker. Well done!

    Like

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